I hate the fact that I can go from zero to annoyed in 2.5 seconds. Especially over little shit. Like shit that should be little, but I blow it up all outta proportion nshit…Still trying to figure out coitus courtesy 5 years and counting later…I hate phones. I hate the word “No.” or any variation of the word out of a fwb mouth. I have determined sex will just NEVER be in the cards for me at the rate I want it. And damn my self control. That’s the only thing that makes me feel a little better, knowing I’m not a sex addict. My reasoning is if I was addicted, and I’m not, but if I was I’d be cruising dark alleys for ass and letting just anyone drill me. And I don’t. But then that leaves me in the position to complain all the time, I just wanna meet someone who wants sex as much as I do I say this shit til I’m literally blue in the face but outta all the fish in the sea I gotta deal with this shit. I try to ask for advice on what to do and basically the only answer I get is

“Oh why don’t you just text him first? Closed mouths don’t get fed”

To hell with that bullshit, okay?! I have tried that texting first bullshit and it DOESN’T WORK. I might just have the world’s worst timing but even still, I shouldn’t hear no as often as I do. And it’s not like from people I fucked once, I’ve usually had sex with them more than once, which makes me wonder how they can even turn a quickie down. Why the fuck should I even have to ask in the first place? I’ve you’ve fucked me before you should know I’m literally ALWAYS down for sex. You have the penis, you know when it gets hard late at night, and you know how to get in contact with me. Since I always end up being the willing party balls basically in your court. I refuse to believe that outta everyone that none of you hoes want to have sex more than once a week/every other week. When I think about it the closest I got to some consistent peen was about once a week on weekends. Now I can’t even get that. I think I had sex twice in January. TWICE. It’s like coming in last place. And oh sure, I could probably broaden my horizons but shit how broad are we talking? I’m very picky with the vagine I’d really like to keep it to a minimum. Fortunately I haven’t gotten desperate blah blah blah complain complain complain. THIS IS WHAT I DO I COMPLAIN AND BITCH ABOUT THE LACK OF SEX IN MY LIFE. My vag is going to shrivel up and die an old maid. I’m tired of watching porn all the fucking time and getting off alone. At least when I get off with someone I feel happy. When it’s just me it’s like “mmmMMMMmAAAAAAAHHHhhhhh….okay now look to your left, and look to your right. That’s right, you are ALONE.” and this weird sense of guilt comes over me and I close my laptop and go to sleep. What did I do in my past life? Do I need to find Rumplestilskin and promise him my first born? Drink the blood of an albino tiger? WHAT. IS. IT?!?!?!?!?!?!
This shit has to be chemical since I haven’t had any “traumatic” experiences. I mean what else can explain this madness? Trust I don’t wanna crave sex every hour of the damn day I wish I COULD be just happy gettin it on every few weeks or so. “You just got some last week” “SO FUCKING WHAT that was last week we’re talking about today now!” Oh hey, why don’t I look do Cosmo for some advice, guys give input there right? “I love when a girl texts me first it shows assertiveness and I find that sexy” *throws magazine into the fireplace* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO booooooooo your advice sucks! Then again why am I talking advice from a sex magazine who featured Dakota Fanning on the cover? I was done with Cosmo a year ago.This is the time where I bang my head mercilessly into the keyboard and roll around the ground like a wounded seal and whine about how unfair this all is. Excuse me.

I’m upset. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

What’s up my lovelies. Finals week is here and it feels like summer vacation can’t get here soon enough. What that will mean for me (hopefully) is not having to wait until the weekend to accost someone for their peen. In the meantime I guess I should fill you in about stuff. 

Sooooooo there’s this guy right. And let me just say he gives the most amazing head ever. Half is skill, half is the fact that he really likes the way I taste and I have zero complaints about him. So weird how All this shit even started. We ended up going out one night just as friends until we got drunk. I remember sounding like an idiot saying shit like “OMG I JUST THINK YOU’RE SO CUTE you have a cute face omg it’s so cuteee.” And he responded back with “Can we make out now?” We did, and then when it was time to leave he asked me if I wanted to smoke with him. Now I was drunk and me + alcohol + weed doesn’t mix from past experiences but I said yes anyways. So we’re sitting in my car smoking and I can’t remember if I told him I couldn’t do it drunk or if I was just taking baby hits because then he started to shotgun me (mmmmm). One thing led to another and then he slipped me some tongue. After we stopped kissing I just stared at him before hopping my happy ass in the backseat. It was like habit I was so ashamed lol He looked at me and was like “What are you doin back there?” And I just looked down and said I don’t know…then he followed me. We made out a little bit more then he pushed me back and I helped him take my pants off. Thankfully I had stuffed some condoms in the backseat but before I could get to them he spread my legs and dove down head first. At first I was a little in shock like “Is he really doing this AHHHHH oh he’s REALLY doing this.” I let him work his magical tongue…magic and then I obvi returned the favor. His dick is about average, but sometimes it’s not about the size of the boat. SOMETIMES. And I use that very loosely.While I’m giving him head he starts skullfucking me and at this point I’m no longer interested in sucking now it’s about trying not to throw up. Being drunk is not the best time to start gagging. Once we finished that he told me to lie on my back and he put my legs on his chest. I’m assuming since he was fucked up too that’s why he was fucking me so hard lol. But That’s what I like, I like to be able to hear our bodies slapping together. Sue me. I didn’t realize how fucked up we were til he stopped to open the door and puke. I didn’t know what to do in that situation so I just started nervously rubbing his back. I wasn’t sure if I should’ve even done it but if I was puking I’d want someone to hold my hair and rub my back. But holding my hair is more important if I had to choose. When he pops back in the car I get on all fours and we continue having sex. Overall I was very pleased with his performance. He told me my pussy tasted amazing and that he could eat it every day (shit, don’t threaten me with a good time) and I kissed him goodbye then drove off, thinking about the next time I could get him to give me head again. Now when I woke up I knew I had sex the night before. But I looked at my neck and I had a few hickies. No big, because I knew how to get rid of them fast. He hit me up and told me I left big ass hickies and bite marks on him. I didn’t even remember biting him. He told me only from the neck down. Well shit I had never heard of this rule! And I don’t think my drunk ass would’ve cared either way. But I made a note to be more gentle in the future.

In all he’s a pretty good partner, as he’s one of the few who gives me head on the reg. The only thing that fucks it up is he acts stupid sometimes when it comes to his “ex”. They aren’t together when we go out but the next day they are. I’m like look Idc if you have a girlfriend as long as you wanna continue this. I would sincerely hope I’m not fucking one of those unstable facebook creatures…you know the type. Constantly talking about how thru they are with their significant other, then the next day talking about how in love they are and how they’re excited to make it work. I have zero time for the bullshit. I just like people to keep it straight with me, whether you like me or just my vag. And the sad part is it’s been 4 months and we still have no straight answer. My take is he just likes to get fucked up and fuck me, and I’m a-ok with it. Whether it’s in my backseat or on the edge of the bathroom sink at our friend’s house (oop!). D’ahh well as long as he continues eating the P we’re good for now.

Sexsomniac is still my clutch tho, despite him saying he’s in love (with his gf, not me). But that’s neither here nor there. And ohmagoshhhhh y’all guess what (pictuer me saying this with the hella country ass accent that I don’t have) for everyone thinking I just like Mexican peen I had some black peen for the first time in a really long time. That sounds horrible………..but when I actually looked at it I haven’t had any since like 2011 right before the boobs. So funny everyone thinks I don’t like black guys. I do just rarely the ones from where I live. When I think about all the black dudes I’ve been with the majority of them weren’t from here. But the one I had recently was. And that whole situation was just weird but the sex was amazeballs, so I’m trying to spend less time one weird and more time on sex. Speaking of, I STILL have no idea on the proper booty call etiquette post coitus. Someone told me I have to wait at least a week and a half before I hit him up. PFFT fuck all that! Why do I have to pretend like I haven’t been thinking about you for the past week when lord knows I wanted to fuck you again right after you wiped me down, and on my way home. And when I woke up the next morning. WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT. I don’t call it desperate I call it greedy. Telling a dude you’re a sex addict means nothing these days. And neither does them saying they are one. I had Sexsomniac tell me he wants it all the time, yet we don’t have sex every day because he’s tired from the gym or whatever bullshit. I actually NEED that shit. multiple times a day if it’s good, but I mean hey I’ll settle for once a day, maybe even like 3-4 times a week. But NO. I can’t have nice things >:(

What the fucking fuck man….

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy 

coz i iz

I’ve had this blog for 3 years now. And I post nowhere near as much as I did when I started. And I apologize. I gotta fix this. I’ll post on the Puerto Rican soon, the jury is still out on him as of now. Eh.

I have been putting this blog off for so long and I have no clue why. I think it’s important. You all have really gotta stop letting music videos and “The Player’s Club” shape your ideals of strippers. While some may be true, it’s not true for the majority of us. It cracks me up how much people will talk down on us, make assumptions about what we do, but then look at me and go “But not you! You’re cool.” Yeah, WHATEVER. That’s basically how you feel behind my back. Like if I say all Asians drive like shit and then look at my nearest Asian friend and go “But you drive better than them!” I’m still talking shit on her indirectly. I think it’s dumb. If that’s how your small minded ass feels about strippers as a whole, then fine. But don’t try to tell me you didn’t mean me like I’m stupid. And the funny thing is it’s mainly the people who have never been inside a strip club that have the most shit to say. Go shut the fuck up and fly a damn kite.

People have this idea that we’re all sex addicts who fuck people at work for 20 bucks. That we all have daddy issues or were molested as children. Like nobody could ever WANT to be a stripper. Well, lo and behold I actually LIKE my job. I wasn’t raped or touched or anything, my relationship with my dad is fine. And the LAST thing I want to do is fuck a customer, ESPECIALLY for 20 bucks. I’m the laziest stripper you know. I try to do as little as possible for as much money as possible. Of course I have to work it a bit and turn my customer on, but once they start talking about sex it’s time to go. All the clubs I’ve worked at, there’s only a small percentage of girls using the club as a cover for their hooking activities, and they usually get caught soon after. Mostly, everyone just wants to dance and make money, and only dance. And if someone wants to pay me for sex there’s going to be at least 3 zeros attached to whatever their offer is because if you can drop thousands on sex you can drop much more on other things. But that’s neither here nor there. 

And not all strippers are single working at the club hoping to get a man. So stop falling in love at the strip club. A good number either have boyfriends, are married, or don’t even like men. What gets on my nerves is when guys come in talking about “I’m not gonna pay for a lap dance, I’d rather pay for your dinner.” Bitch I can buy my own dinner thanks. How are you gonna come into my job, waste my time, and still expect me to want to go on a date with you? I don’t get paid hourly, and I’m not there to find a man. I’m there to make money. And if you aren’t talking business, get the fuck out the club. Why are you even there to begin with with no money?! Nobody except the dumb girls has time for that unless you’re really balling, which most of the ones looking for dates aren’t. And no, we don’t wanna go back to your place to “party”. You can go home alone. Or go to the hoe stroll. The look on dudes faces when you tell them get a hooker and they’re like “I’d NEVER.” you came into the club looking for someone to pay for sex. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck……………..

Oh, my favorite line is “You’re too pretty to be here” or “do you have kids?” Well, are only ugly girls supposed to be strippers? I don’t think people would go to clubs if all the girls were ugly. And yes I have 10 kids and I’m working here to support them -___________-. I’m just here to make more money than a minimum wage job. That’s all. I’m not gonna be here for the rest of my life and when I get phased out be like “fuck. I have no skills. Now what?” Shit we go to school, we have day jobs! We’re not all coked out working just enough to get our next fix. I’m not gonna be young and pretty forever, why not capitalize on it? Shit I pay my way thru school! *Gasp* yes, I go to school. I have goals and ambitions and they don’t stop on stage. 

Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr why am I even wasting my breath when I know 9 times outta 10 people will still refuse to be open minded about shit. I can talk until I’m blue in the face, yet you’ll watch “The Player’s Club” and swear up and down that’s how it is. Hmph. Welp. I’ll just continue what I’m doing and if a dude has ever slandered dancers and ends u pin my DM box talking about “Let’s kick it” I’m blasting his ass. You can call us hoes and unwifeable and shit and the best I can do is turn you down and prove you wrong, at least speaking for myself. All I’m saying is open your minds and grow the fuck up.

Yeah nobody is listening.

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

on twitter

I was having a talk with my bestest male friend in the whole wide world about what needs to be done in order to get my sexual needs met. I asked him why can’t I just have sex with someone every day, or at least a few times a week and he tells me because dudes consider that to be boyfriend territory. Well that isn’t fucking fair! A lot of the dudes I’ve slept with would be terrible boyfriends. That’s not why I have sex with them. Sometimes they know how to move their asses just right and I can appreciate that! I’m like so what you’re saying is I need a boyfriend huh…well I know plenty of people in relationships who LIVE together and still don’t have sex all the time. Which I find very weird. So basically he told me I’m literally assed out. Life is so fucking unfair:( I figure the only way I can accomplish this is by having a steady rotation, and I don’t wanna do that. I just wanna find someone like me who only wants to have sex all the time. I didn’t think it would be that hard to find, ohhhh but it is! I mean if having a boyfriend means I’ll get it more often then shit, what choice do I really have (and no, I wouldn’t want a boyfriend JUST for sex. I’d actually care for them too. The sex would just be a big ass bonus). In the meantime I’ll just count the hairs on my head until the next time I get laid.

Sexsomniac comes in too clutch. I love the fact that we can go out and kick it with our friends, have sex later, and continue kicking it and it isn’t weird. He doesn’t try to make shit weird around us, but then it’s prolly cause the people we hang around with already know we hook up on occasion. He usually comes around right before I’m about to snap and break dishes and whatnot, and for that I’m thankful he keeps me sane. Even when he has a girlfriend he comes in clutch. And maybe if they were a lot nicer and not so damn stuck up I wouldn’t let him come in clutch. D’ahh well. So one night he hits me up and I think I was really blown and he tells me to come drive to east jesus nowhere to drink. I think I’ll have to pass on this. The next day my brother hits me up and asks if I wanna go to lunch with them. I say sure, but the only catch is I still have to drive to east jesus nowhere to go pick them up. Fuuuuuuuuh. But I haven’t seen him in months since he’s been on the rag (I.e. been with his punk ass bitch of a gf) and I was like alright. We all spent the day together and we were gonna go to a party that night. Before we went they wanted to stop by Sexsomniac’s house to shower and change clothes and whatnot. So I’m just there waiting for them to get ready and whatnot, while they’re just doing stupid things boys like to do, and Sexsomniac suggests my brother take a shower first. All I’m thinking is I hope these hoes hurry up I still have to go home and get ready. So once the shower starts running he closes the door and says “You wanna have sex right now?” All I said was “Right now?” and he lifted my leg around him, laid me down and kissed me in one swift motion. You smooth ass bastard you. He starts unbottoning my pants and flips me over on my stomach and I’m like wait…what if he comes in. So he thinks moving in front of the door is a better idea. “Oh great so now he’s gonna hit me in the face with the door while my pants are at my ankles”. He was like “Let’s just go to my mom’s room” (Sorry!) and we get a quickie in. I used to be anti quickie, but now not so much. We straighten ourselves out and he asks me if we’ve ever had sex when he’s sober. Not that I can remember. And then he asks why we don’t have sex more often. I wanted to slap him. We don’t have sex more often because of YOU. It’s your fault. I let every dude know after we have a good sesh that I’d like to have sex all the time (I should probably stop saying this) so the ball is always in their court. I hate having to ask for sex because I don’t like hearing no whether they’re too busy, not in town, have a girlfriend at the moment or just plain ol’ don’t want to (which is insane). I’m like when you wanna have sex you let ME know. You know this. For the most part I’m always down. Now if you hit me up for sex and I just flat out say no, then I don’t fuck with you anymore and you should take the hint then. And not continue to ask 4 years and counting later. If memory serves me correctly he said he’s work on it or something.

After we leave his house we go to my house so I can get ready and we go to this party. Now my friend asked me in advance if I was gonna invite this other guy I’ve had sex with and I’m like no, I’m bringing Sexsomniac. I know not to ruin a good thing by bringing sand to the beach. I am NOT about to choose between my clutch and the best head giver this side of the west coast. There’s no way to equally divide my attention between the two where they feel like I only have lustful eyes for them. So she says okay, and then 5 minutes away from her house she texts me “OMG HE’S HERE.” HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?! He ended up coming with someone else who was invited and she wasn’t gonna turn him away. I’m like fuuuuuuck this is bad. I just had sex like 3 hours ago. Fuck my lifeeeeeeee. We go inside the house and I say what’s up to him and give him a hug, then offer to give him some stuff he forgot last time I saw him. On the way outside he tells me he’s “officially single”, whatever the fuck THAT means (we’ll get on that when I post his blog). And I’m like well that’s god to know, seeing as to how I didn’t say anything to him about sex, a relationship, or his on and off gf at that time. Whatever. I tried to make the night as normal as possible, although I did slip up and ended up sitting in his lap for a little bit, before my senses kicked in and were like “Bitch just what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”. The night ended drama free, which is what I wanted to begin with and we all went on our merry ways. Although…I was high once again that night and Sexsomniac wanted to leave early but I wasn’t ready to go. So I dropped him off and came back, hung out with the dude (he needs a nickname already) just to get kicked out by my friend’s drunk ass boyfriend not too long after. The weed was saying go after him, my brain was saying thou shalt not fornicate with two men in less than 24 hours. So I just drove my ass home. Glad that was over.

I said I would only sleep with three new people this year then I would find a boyfriend (keep your judging to yourself. You knew what you were coming to read when you clicked the link) and right now I only have one spot left and it’s only fucking April. Something’s gotta give. I just wanna be a reformed semi sex addict where I don’t NEED it all the damn time. Is that possible? Do I have to go to rehab? Sex addicts anonymous? I really don’t wanna have to do all that extra shit…

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

lol i don’t feel i’m the best at offering advice like this because i tend to scare people away. but if it were me….i would just do a lil light flirting with a guy i like and see if he returns it. if he does i’ll let it progressively get heavier, hoping he’ll make the first move (i tend not to cause i hate hearing no). now you mean body confidence wise? like nervous about getting naked? or just in general? i mean i don’t think there’s anything really helpful i could say about that:/ just if you feel like you can be yourself around a guy i say that’s the guy you go for. makes it a lil easier on you

So here’s another random ass blog of just stuff that’s been on my mind lately.

First off, FUCK El Capitan okay. After that first day when he only fucked me once he promised me that next time would be longer. Okay. So we planned to meet up again, and this time he requested anal. I didn’t remember him being too girthy so I thought, shit, why the fuck not. I get into town and go to work, since I’m going to see him in the morning. Mind you I didn’t even wanna be in town that weekend I only went for some peen. He told me to come at 8:30 which meant I had time to go eat breakfast and head out to him. I made it out there at 7:30 and at 8 he tells me sorry he fell asleep on me but if I can pick him up an hr away. Are you shitting me?! I just drove an hour to see you! I was just like shit I’m already out here for some peen might as well. But he owes me BIG TIME. I was not even 5 minutes into my journey to go see him before he started complaining about having his bike with him and how it wouldn’t fit in my car or some shit. Then he said today is just not a good day I’m sorry and fell off the face of the earth. MOTHERFUCKER. I could’ve been sleep!!!! I called him everything but a child of god that morning. A few weeks later he hits me up and asks if I wanna come hang out with him cause he’s having a party. I asked him if his parents were outta town or something and he says yeah. I’m like I’m down, thinking once the party is over I can hang around for a bit since no one is gonna be there. He asks if I can bring some friends for his cousins. I don’t see why not, although the only girls I know work at the club and it would be kinda hard to pull them away from work on a Friday night. I figured I’d fib a bit, say they were coming on their own, and when they didn’t show be fake mad about it, but suggesting we should still have sex since I’m already there. Well, I get there and lemme tell you I’m SOOO GLAD none of my friends came thru. Bitch sent me on a dirty mission! When I told him if I brought girls they wouldn’t be strippers his cousins were disappointed. Cause you know, all strippers are easy. When I got there I was horrified. If my friend asked me to hang out with her dude’s friends and they were all ugly I’d punch her in the ovaries. Which is exactly what my friends woulda done. And I wouldn’t have even been mad at them about it. None of them were cute. I hung around and then after an hour I said they weren’t coming. This bitch then decided to send me on my merry way because “he didn’t want me to hang out here by myself”. What about the original fucking reason I came out here in the first place bitch?! I was too hot because once again I drove to him for some peen and left empty handed. When I brought up that fact he said “I know, that sucks.” Well fuck you too then! He drunkenly hit me up after that, but other than that I haven’t heard from his punk ass. I’m not with that shit lol. And btw he’s still using the nickname that I came up with as his name on twitter. As of now he has to find a new nickname. He is no longer allowed to use it.

OH! Here’s another thing that pissed me off. So I have this friend who lives a few states away, but we still text each other nshit and we had always discussed meeting up soon, but the shit never got past the random suggestion stage. One day he randomly hits me up telling me he’ll be in Vegas soon and if I would like to come I’m basically more than welcome. I’m like yessss a weekend in Vegas with some guaranteed peen why the fuck not. He let me know about 2 months prior so I had enough time to get my life together. First it was gonna be a trip with me and my friends and I would just see him while I was down there. Then my friends bailed so my sole purpose of even going was to hang out with him. As the date approached, I felt like I was asking about Vegas more than he was, and it was his trip! We talked like a week before about it and how he was basically going to fuck my brains out and I was all “yaaaaaaay”. A few days before the trip I asked if he was driving so I knew whether I’d need a cab, or if I should just drive the entire way, you know just needing to straighten out some fuzzy details. no response. Hit him the next day since it was kinda late his time. Nothing. Finally a day before I’m supposed to leave he hits me and says yeah my buddy drove. This was after I had already seen him update fb and twitter that he was indeed driving with his friend. Tf? I decided to leave my car in SoCal and take a shuttle to Vegas and asked if he could get me from the Excalibur. He told me they just took a shuttle to and from the strip, and that it stops at the Excalibur. When I asked him what time he’d be done Friday so I knew what time to leave he told me when he’d be done for the entire weekend and I’m like no, I just need to know about Friday. No response. Sent him a pic of my fresh ass wax job. Nothing. Now he was starting to piss me off. Friday morning I text him and ask him what the plan was. Once again I got nothing. So I was like fuck it you must not want me to go then! I gave him until 4pm, cause I was not about to be driving to Vegas at all times of the night. 4pm came and nothing. So I said fuck it and hung out with Sexsomniac and my brother instead. I told them what was going on and was like “Watch. He’s gonna hit me up around 9 asking where I’m at. Ol’ smug ass bastard.”. Like I’m going to Vegas alone. I’m not gonna drive out there and twiddle my thumbs hoping you might hit me up. What would happen if you didn’t?  I would’ve just wasted my gas and been stuck in Vegas. Sure enough 10 o’clock came and I got a “Are you in Vegas?” text. Bitch are you serious?! I haven’t heard from you all day, not to mention trying to get info from you was like pulling teeth and you still expected me to go? So I did him how he did me and ignored his ass while continuing to tweet and update my fb. When I finally did answer I hit him with a dry ass “Nope.” and he sent me a sad face. Bitch get the entire fuck outta here okay? This is YOUR fault. Although I wasn’t tripping because of course Sexsomniac came in clutch as always. But that’s another blog for another day. 

I went on a date last week. And don’t get me wrong I enjoyed myself and the free Ruth’s Chris Steak House. Just not the guy I was with. Lol. He was slightly annoying. He was a 32 yr old white guy who was a regional manager of a produce company from Sacramento to Bakersfield. And not interesting whatsoever. He was more interested by me. I was trying to be kinda mean and weird, and that made him like me even more. Fuhhhhhhhh. After the date and my steak he started hitting me up every day to plan our next date for the following week. Slow ya roll sir. I stopped answering his texts and he would literally have full blown conversations with himself. He called me rude for not returning a compliment or even saying thank you, and how I’m missing out on him and whatnot. After 12 unanswered texts I know I would get the hint. Not this guy. He wants to take me to Flemmings next. I don’t think I have the heart to stomach another date with him for free yummy food when I don’t even wanna be at the same table as the guy. We are in two completely different places in our lives! I was trying to picture him hanging out with my friends and I couldn’t do it. I imagined him being uncomfortable as fuck. I don’t wanna be a bitch but I swear he wants to meet my mom and get my dad’s blessing already! I copped out and told him his persistence was kinda killing it for me and he said he really likes me and is intrigued by me and he doesn’t want that. He knows I’m busy so he’ll let up. Hopefully I won’t have to hear from him again. lol.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t like good dick so much. It makes me crazy. I feel like I don’t get it enough to turn it down when they act stupid, which in turn makes me mad cause they still continue to act stupid. But I need it more than I need them to stop acting stupid, if that makes any sense to you. Makes perfect sense in my head. 

I need to stop smoking/consuming weed. I need to be able to land a day job with clean pee so stripping can go back to being my side hustle. Because Uncle Sam is fucking me in the ass with no lube.

I can’t remember the last time I watched porn. And I only watch it when I’m about to rub one out. So I haven’t done that either. Be proud of me.

Puerto Ricans eat thee best pussy. This is not up for debate.

I like my guy to make the first move so I don’t feel like some sex addicted spider monkey feind. My aggression scares people for some reason. So I’ll just sit here and wait on you instead.

If I refer to you as a brother that doesn’t mean hop in the bed with me at 3am asking if I wanna cuddle. And when I say no and threaten to fart on you if you touch me to whine and complain about how horny you are. Clearly you are unclear on the concept. And I don’t care how horny you are. Stay on your fucking side of the bed and shut the fuck up or get out and sleep on the floor. All the other brothers get it! Get with the program!

Are we still out there eating ass? Not that I’m looking to have mine ate I’m just curious.

Good kissers make my panties wet. So do hickies.

I’ve lost 7 lbs. But probably gained back half of that over spring break. Boo.

I’d like to thank the Mexican boy who lived around the corner for making me who I am today. Without him my oral skills wouldn’t be as on point as they are. Practice makes perfect, and when we’d get outta school 2 hours early every other Wednesday I sure as hell got my practice in. Although you annoy the shit out of me now and I will most likely never fuck you again, I wanna say I do appreciate you! Every time I see someone’s eyes roll into the back of their head and feel their legs spasm. You go, Glen Coco.

The best way to end spring break is to have said Puerto Rican eating you out while you smoke a bowl. Yessss spring break turned out better than I expected.

Well, I’m off to get ready for work. I shall still update you on Sexsomnaic and the Puerto Rican. 

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

your wish is my command

I said I was gonna write a blog about cheating and figure what better time than now to do it, because I swear that’s all I’ve been dealing with lately. So I guess I am taken man’s kryptonite. I can’t seem to figure out how I keep attracting guys with girlfriends. I don’t go stalking them out, the shit seems to happen that way. Aside from a few exceptions, I don’t really tolerate that shit. Actually, what I don’t tolerate is a guy lying about being in a relationship. Especially if I find out about it, and I always do because men are idiots. I’ve already said let me be a home wrecking jezebel on my on accords. Perfect example lemme tell you what’s been going on this past week.
So I’m at my fave place the bar talking to my friends minding my business. My girl friend says she doesn’t wanna drink and I’m like then bitch you can’t sit with us lol it’s a bar! She’s like “No I don’t wanna get drunk tonight because I’m not gonna get laid” and I tell her well me either but I’m still gonna drink. So this skeevy ass bartender that I always see who never speaks decides to chime in today. He asks why I’m going home alone and I tell him because men can’t get with the program (we’re all familiar with my luck). He goes I can def get with your program with a winky face and I’m just like yeaaaaaaaah…where’s my drink. So I’m talking and he comes by and slides me a note that says “I can eat a peach for an hour!” and I was just horrified. I mean he’s not ugly but he’s def not my type. At all. I show my friends and we have a laugh and then he comes BACK with a pen and says “I’ll just leave this here in case you wanna write something. Did you like your note?” And I gave him a sarcastic ass two thumbs up, because that wasn’t creepy at all. My drunk self felt bullied into giving him my number but I didn’t think anything of it. A few days later he hits me up and I didn’t respond. Then I get on fb and see my friend post a pic of a dinner and she tagged some guy with the same name as the bartender. Hmm. Wait a sec. She worked at that bar too for a while. Coincidence? I click his name and sure enough it says he’s a bartender at that bar. The odds of there being two bartenders with the same name was slim to none. I checked her mobile pics and well well well if it isn’t the ginger with no soul! The next time he hit me up I took the opporitunity to do some digging. Sure enough he hits me up talking about “hey you wanna make out for a little bit?” First off, who does that to a basically complete stranger? How gay. So I immediately asked for his last name and he goes “Why? Just a funny question?” Seriously? You can offer to eat me out for an hour but I can’t know your last name? What kinda sneaky hoe shit is that…So he lies and gives me a fake name but at this point I already know he’s lying. Then he tries rushing me, making it a point to tell me if I want anything from him we only have an hour. Could my friend possibly be getting off work in an hour sir? I almost blew my cover saying what a small world but then I redeemed myself saying his fake name sounded familiar. Then he tells me he’s great in bed with a big dick and I’m just like ewwww. And when I don’t reply? He calls me. Cause that’s what you’re supposed to do when someone doesn’t respond to your creepy texts. Finally he’s just like “We can just be friends if you want I just like looking at you at the bar. I know you see people and so do I but if you want we can keep this on the dl;) feel free to send some pics and I’ll send some back. This is going to be fun;)” Great. Downplay your LTR.
After a few different opinions and some thinking I decided to tell my friend. We were close in high school and didn’t really have a fallout, just grew apart. But we were still cool when we ran into each other. I finally messaged her and asked her to call me and I kidd you not literally within 5 minutes of sending that cheating ass bastard texts me begging me not to tell her because “he loves her with all his heart and they have a perfect little family with his daughter (not hers) and he knew he messed up by taking my number and he understands if I need to tell her but to let him do this on his own so he doesn’t lose her”. He begged me to text him back. Bitch your sob story is not my problem!!!

SIDEBAR: That’s another thing I can’t stand. If you’re gonna cheat you better be ready to be all fucking in. I can’t stand whiney ass babies who have buyer’s remorse not because the merchandise was defective (NEVER THAT) but because they miss their old stand by. If you can’t handle that shit DON’T DO IT! And ESPECIALLY don’t try and guilt trip me with your fuck ass sob stories either. I’m not the one in a fucking relationship you better go lay on a chaise lounge and talk your problems out with a therapist because that shit ain’t in my job description. Like why are you telling the girl you cheated with all your relationship problems?! As if we give a fuck! Shit I don’t!!!

Anyways, my loyalties lie with my friend and if you think I’m gonna do you a favor think otherwise. I would NEVER fuck a boyfriend or even an ex of my friends whether we’re close or not. I will fuck someone’s boyfriend if I don’t know the girl. But if I know you I would never do that I will always do right by my friends. And If you wanna get into ethics and shit I’m pretty sure you don’t treat strangers the same way you treat your friends hence why they have different titles. And clearly this man thinks I’m an idiot if he thinks I’m just gonna be like “Okay as long as you tell her.” The odds of him telling her everything is slim to none. As casually as he sent that note I know he had done this before without batting an eyelash or thinking about his perfect little family. If you love her with all your heart like you say you do you wouldn’t be doing her like this. She deserves way better than that.
She hits me up and I tell her what went down and the fucked up shit is that a day after I left the bar she went in. And she was at work that day he asked if I wanted to come over. She thanked me for telling her, glad I gave him my number because if it was anyone else he would’ve gotten away with it. Told her no problem and to hit me up if she needed anything else. Don’t know what happened after we stopped talking but I hope she makes the best decision for her. And if she stays with him he better get his shit together.

So there’s that. Another scenario is this boy I’ve been seeing every now and then, he has a gf too (I’ll blog about the first time I fucked him. Insane.) The difference here is he’s single when we hook up, but the next day they’re back together again. The first time it bothered me. The second it made me laugh because now I knew the game, the only problem was he refused to acknowledge it. Like dude, idc if you are always on and off with your girlfriend. Clearly you like having sex with me and I like it too so if you wanna just do this and keep it on the low I’m cool with that. Just use your big boy words and say “Well me and my girl are on and off sometimes but you can still sit on my face because you taste delicious” (That last part isn’t an exaggeration. He told me my pussy tastes amazing and he could eat it every day. Of course it does silly, I’m me! And I would let you if you were down, because your tongue is magical.). But alas he doesn’t so ehh. Then one night out of nowhere when I wasn’t even trying to have sex with him (at least not at that exact moment) he decides to volunteer the fact he’s officially single and tired of being treated like garbage. I told him I was gonna ask but decided not to and he was like I’m glad you didn’t because shit is complicated. I’m like okay. Then of course the next day he isn’t single anymore. I swear if he didn’t know how to fuck I’d punch him in the throat.

Well. Here’s my monthly blog I suppose. I need to stop being so damn lazy. I still gotta fill you in on El Capitan’s ol’ bitch ass, Sexsomniac (clutchhhh), and this new boy. I will get to it eventually. Y’all gotta get on my ass about this lol.

Toodles,
Miss Sixxxty, you very own freak of the industryy